When people use the term “OCD” out of context.
Let me fill you in on what OCD really means, and then let you all know about some of my, rather stupid I must admit, compulsions.
Obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD) is a type of anxiety disorder primarily characterized by repetitive obsessions ( distressing, persistent, and intrusive thoughts or images) and compulsions ( urges to perform specific acts or rituals). It affects roughly 3% of the population worldwide. The OCD thought pattern may be likened to superstitions insofar as it involves a belief in a causative relationship where, in reality, one does not exist. Often the process in entirely illogical; for example, the compulsion of walking in a certain pattern may be employed to alleviate the obsession of impending harm. And in many cases, the compulsion is entirely inexplicable, simply an urge to complete a ritual triggered by nervousness.
OCD has been a large part of my life. Along with ADHD. Common to have both, although, males are more likely to suffer from ADHD, and females to suffer from OCD. I have both. Two rather annoying disorders that I will always have to live with. One obsessive thought that I always think about is me or a loved one getting into a car accident. My grandpa died in a car accident long before I was born, and although I never got to know him, it affects the way I feel about cars. 23 years old, and I don’t have a license. Wonder why? There you go. Which leads me to compulsion #1: I absolutely HAVE to use the bathroom before I get into any car. Even if I don’t have to go, I still go to the bathroom. If I don’t, the thoughts of car accidents gets me so worked up, I start to feel sick to my stomach. It’s like going to the bathroom helps me feel safe.
Compulsion #2: I have to take a shower EVERY NIGHT. And not just that, I have to wash my body the same way every time I shower. My shower routine. If I don’t, I have this overwhelming fear that something bad will happen the next day.
Compulsion # 3: if I am wearing a shirt, and something just totally awful happens on the day I happened to wear that shirt, I will NEVER wear that shirt again. Not pants. Not shoes. Nots socks. Shirts. Seriously. I have so many shirts that I just won’t wear again. I feel that if I do wear that shirt, that awful thing will happen again.
It’s a confusing disorder, and not many people really understand, so I hide it from most people. Which I’ve found out over many years, has only made it worse for myself. Because I’m not working through anything. I’m just hiding it. Which is not healthy. I shit you not, nobody really know how I feel at all. Except my mother. Mothers always know for some reason.
So when I hear people say shit like “wow those books are out of order my OCD is acting up” no, actually it’s not. Because you don’t have obsessive-compulsive disorder. If you did, you would have an entirely different attitude about the comment you just made.
Don’t fucking lie about me.